"I could never do what you're doing!"

Another comment has emerged over the past couple months of Foster care... the biggest one, that hurts the most?
"I could NEVER do what you are doing...I could never let them go home"

Honestly, it makes me feel heartless. I know that's not how {most} people mean it (or so I hope); but that IS often how it comes across.

You may not be able to do what we are doing, and that is okay! However, please respect that God called us to Foster Care as a ministry... and when God calls you to something; HE equips you for every circumstance you will encounter as you fulfill His calling on your life.

Have you ever been called to serve as a missionary? Well I don't think I could do that either.

Have you ever been called to love someone who seemed unlovable and DID it? God equipped you with that ability!

Have you ever forgiven someone that did something unfathomable to you? God equipped you with the ability to forgive. 

We are doing what any loving person would do if a needy child showed up on their doorstep... We are loving them and providing for their needs.
They deserve it.

A friend recently commented, "God must think you guys are really strong".....That is NOT the case.... I am WEAK; but in my weakness, God's STRENGTH shows out!

No update on MJ... she continues to thrive in our home. Plan was to return to bio family last weekend. Did not happen; no other news.

Foster Care Comments and Questions from Loved Ones

So... there have been some comments and situations that have arisen over the last 10 months of Foster care that I just wanted to document...

A very loving, well-meaning family member commented (after I told her we were going to Foster older children):
"Oh man, that's not fair; you won't have to go through the whole baby stage!!"

My response; after 10 months of Fostering includes:
-Yes, but do you know how often they cry?
-Yes, but do you have any idea what it's like retraining the thought process of a child who has been raised by someone else for 11 years?
-This is true, but sometimes I'd rather have the crying over the silent treatment for hours and hours on end.
-Yes; but we are ARE dealing with SEVERE emotional and physical trauma, and I would venture to say it's just as difficult as dealing with a crying baby.
-True, but we are having to dedicate a HUGE chunk of our time & energy pouring in to a child who is three years behind in school and development because of the lack of education she's had in her life

It's hard y'all; No... it is NOT raising a baby. But it's still hard.

One more thing, folks ask us ALL THE TIME "What's the update? Any news?"
Here's the answer, "No good updates. I don't know when she's leaving for sure."

I know everyone means well, and most likely really DO seriously care... but it's like a chunk of my heart dies every time I have to explain a current situation. It's hard to talk about y'all.... God's plan is HIS Plan... and every one of His plans are not revealed to us on purpose. We would live in dread, fear and uncertainty if we worried about what, when who and where.
God called us to this Ministry.... Every child that comes or goes is in HIS Hands, HIS timing... we are just to be the vessels that show them unconditional love, support and a healthy functioning family and home. (Or as close as we can get ;)) 

I ran across an incredibly wonderful explanation of this here: http://fosteringreal.com/blog/2016/09/11/in-limbo/ 

Foster Care Month #9

Well, we've been at the Foster Care journey for almost 10 months now. One child, one placement. We did respite care for a 7 year old boy that was WILD... but other than that it's just been the three of us.
We've struggled, tremendously, but our girl has completed a successful season of Softball where she played Right field, transitioned to middle school, worked with the school for a attainable IEP goal and have endured hours and hours and HOURS of tutoring and counseling. She is now in the middle of Basketball season where she is ROCKING IT, Kevin is coaching the team; and they are having a ball! She's almost completed Confirmation class at church, and rededicated her life to Christ about four months ago in front of our sweet and wonderful church family.

We've cried, we've laughed, we've danced, we've prayed, and we've loved fiercely. 

She is thriving! However, we found out Monday that DHR is going to work on transitioning her home. First will come unsupervised visits, then unsupervised overnight visits, and then back into the home.
We are devastated; especially since we do not think this is in her best interest. She is frightened to return home, and seems to have reverted back to the scared, shy, terrified girl she was when she first came into care and into our home. My heart hurts for her. It hurts for the loss we are going to endure. However, we KNOW that God ordained her placement with us; and she talks daily about how she feels the Holy Spirit with her, and that he is continuously telling her that no matter what, He is going to take care of her. We know that HE is in control, and HE sees the future.... we are confident that whatever happens is in His hands, and that it will be what is best for her in the long run.

Tomorrow, we are to meet with her Guardian ad Litem who has never met her. We just want to make sure he has all the information from DHR, Social workers, Counselors and DHR transporters and visit supervisors that we do; and then pray that whatever decision he decides to pursue; the judge and courts will honestly take into consideration what is best for her in the long run.

Pray for our family as we enter into another new season of life, and as we begin the holiday season; possibly without the girl we've come to love so dearly over the last 10 months.